Shane Crawford channels his inner Liam Neeson when he discovers Gary Ablett is 'taken' and tries to organise a swap with one of his mates
Shane Crawford tries to piece together his SuperCoach line-up. Picture: George Salpigtidis Source: Herald Sun
HERE are 10 things you're guaranteed to see this SuperCoach season - and a few possible eyebrow-raisers.
The biggest and best fantasy sports game in Australia creates plenty of drama on the field - and in offices and living rooms around the country as head-to-head battles are settled every weekend.
Every year SuperCoach springs surprises on us, but there are some things you can pretty much guarantee will happen at some stage of the year.
As if SuperCoach wasn't fun enough on its own, keep a scoreboard of how many of these you spot in 2013:
Monday payback - 30 points
A printed sign attached a victim's computer, a note on their office door or a cardboard cutout of the player that cost them a win in their private league. Extra points for creativity.
There's one every year. Think Dayne Zorko, Tendai Mzungu and Michael Barlow. The player who starts the year at a bargain basement price and scores like a $600,000 star. Who will it be this year?
Psych-out humble pie - 30 points
The coach who goes the early crow after Eddie Betts scores 140 on Friday night then it all comes unglued over the course of the weekend. Usually very quiet in the office on Monday morning.
Trade guzzler - 25 points
The coach in your private league who throws caution (and often logic) to the wind, trading like a crazy person to try to fix a struggling line-up. Usually in huge trouble by about Round 14.
Red vest rage - 10 points
Expect to tick this off multiple times, potentially even over the course of each round. Caused by a rookie carrying the hopes of a team starting as the sub. Luckily the new rolling lockout means we have a chance to move the sub to the bench this year.
Yellow vest despair - 20 points
Related condition caused by a key player (usually someone your private league opponent doesn't have) being subbed off or injured during a game.
Heart before head - 25 points
When a decision on who to include in your team, who to trade, who to start on the fiend and even who to make captain is unduly influenced by the team they play for. In one extreme case a private league opponent fielded a squad entirely made up of Collingwood players. Rarely ends well.
Shoe into TV - 60 points
Often seen during the final match of the round when a bad decision on the field causes SuperCoach disaster. An example I witnessed involved a coach set to win a private league nailbiter until Cyril Rioli was moved into the centre bounce and gave away a controversial free kick just seconds before the final siren.
SuperFooty LiveHQ on the iPad. Picture: Manuela Cifra Source: Herald Sun
Rough diamond - 40 points
The left-field selection made by your private league opponent that has you laughing in disbelief before Justin Koschitzke kicks eight goals and condemns you to more SuperCoach pain. You won't miss this one - the victim will tell his tale of woe to anyone who'll listen.
Superstar scramble - 50 points
It's six weeks into the season and the bold move to start the year without Gary Ablett is hurting you big time. Plan A, B and C is to get the little master into your side - any way you can. Ablett's name can be substituted for Lance Franklin, Dean Cox or whoever is scoring the house down. This condition is often characterised by frenetic use of calculators, talk about "break-evens" and abandoning other players this coach had previously staked their season on.
Trade timing disaster - 35 points
You save up for weeks to afford a star player only for him to pull his hamstring the next week. In a related condition the player is re-assigned to tagging roles, ensuring you recruited him at his highest possible price (usually accompanied by the player you offloaded racking up big scores he could never achieve when he was on your roster).
The anchor - 35 points
A rookie selected at the start of the year who doesn't play enough games to go up in value and is stuck on your bench through the whole season. Relton Roberts, Cameron Richardson and Harry Cunningham have upheld the tradition in recent years.
Cold turkey - 60 points
When a coach swears he will never pick a player again. Inspired by the likes of Shaun Higgins, Greg Broughton and Jack Grimes. Victims very prone to relapses.
Theme team - 75 points
A SuperCoach side picked for reasons that have nothing to do with scoring potential. One team last year consisted of players only with the first name Jack (the one exception was Sydney midfielder Kieren Jack). Another side had the unusual selection criteria of only picking Indigenous players and redheads.
Triple trade player - 100 points
Trading the same player in and out of your team on three separate occasions in the one season. Something I thought would never happen until I did it with Cyril Rioli in 2011.
Private league grand final loser mowing neighbour's lawn in his wife's wedding dress - 1000 points
Just hope it isn't you.
For more SuperCoach news and tips during the pre-season, follow Al Paton on Twitter: @al_superfooty
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